10 Things I Know Now That I’m Only 40

40 Birthdays Yet None the Wiser

A New Beginning?

I recently turned 40. Surreal. I’ve long heard about this milestone.

First, what’s different this time around, than from any of my other birthdays, is that I have a newborn son. Same time last year, I would never have guessed or fathomed it, but fatherhood is amazing.

Second, midlife crisis? Rather, I’m surprisingly upbeat and optimistic about the outlook ahead. I remember back when I was 29. The days leading up to my 30th birthday were full of dread. I was turning 30 yet I still didn’t have my life put together. 30 felt so old. At 40, I feel young and less under the weather. It’s a new decade. I feel like I can conquer anything. I’m married. I’m a new father. I am starting a new venture. I feel more powerful than ever.

Third, you are what you eat. My body feels it more than ever before. I nostalgically share with my wife about my teenage years of eating 4 Big Macs in one sitting. Oh, how I miss fast metabolism. Today the mouth and body aren’t in harmony. Mouth craves greasy. The body craves healthy. Perhaps I should hire a personal trainer or join a boxing gym or do Pilates.

Fourth, it’s so much easier to say, “No.” It’s been a 40-year struggle. I used to associate “No” with negative energy. However, in the real world “No” commands respect and discipline.

Fifth, family is indeed super important.

Sixth, God is a great novelist. He writes the greatest stories. The plot twists and character development — we just need to pay attention and reflect more. Each human life is a chapter in God’s magnum opus. We grow wiser the more time we spend vertically deep-diving into each chapter and horizontally making thematic connections from one chapter to another.

Seven, who you marry is the most important career decision. Your spouse will either slowly build you up or eat you up. I married well. For those who are still single, rely on your higher divine faculties (not your base animal instincts) when choosing your forever I do.

Less is more when it comes to friendship

Eight, luck plays a more important role in wealth building than smarts. Once I realized and accepted this face-slapping truth, I felt less anxious about success and learned to rely on God more.

Nine, less is more when it comes to friendship. This didn’t feel true back in college. But now that I’m 40 with more family responsibilities, friendships naturally take a backseat. But friendship is important nevertheless. I just need the handful that will genuinely cry and laugh with me.

Ten, spend more time with my parents (both my nuclear and in-law parents). My parents’ lives reflect a parallel universe to mine. The more time I spend doing the most mundane things together with them, my future will grow exponentially happier and less regretful.